My Life
by SassyAngel05
Summary: This is written by Jess, like a book. It's totally in his POV, starting from his early days in New York to moving to Stars Hollow to college. It is kind of a Literati, but it's all about Jess. THE END IS UP! THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING!
1. Default Chapter

Title: My Life Author: Vona E-mail: Joshysgurlie15@aol.com Feedback: I really appreciate any, except for flames. I don't mind constructive criticism. Distribution: Just ask. Disclaimer: Unfortunately, they're not mine. I wish they were, but alas, no. Summary: This is like a book that Jess wrote. The entire thing is Jess's point of view. It covers his early years in New York, going to Stars Hollow, after the kiss, going away to college, etc. The second chapter will mainly be synopses of the episodes he's in, at least the hightlights, but I do add in his thoughts and such. Then it goes on from there. Rating: G Classification: Angst, love, life.  
  
  
  
  
  
I dedicate this book to these people. Rory Gilmore, the love of my life, my beautiful, amazing fiance. Landon Thomas, my best friend, who was there when no one else was. Luke Danes, who took me in and never gave up on me, no matter how horrible I was. And lastly, Lorelai Gilmore, for giving me something of a second chance, with you and your daughter.  
  
Chapter One The Beginning  
  
  
  
  
  
Life is never easy, not for anyone. Sometimes it may seem it's easy, but it isn't. But growing up in downtown Brooklyn was harder than usual. My life changed dramatically in a single year. Not by one major, life- altering event, but by several epiphanies I had; it was okay to love, it was okay to let others love you, Stars Hollow was not the Hell I once thought it was, and shockingly Ayn Rand did write a couple of good books. I guess I should start from the beginning, or at least from the beginning that I remember.  
  
I was born in New York City in 1984 to my parents, Liz and Rob Mariano. Of course, I don't remember much of my baby life, but as I grew older I realized my family was far from normal. My dad worked at a Der Weinershniztel. My mom, well, Liz was a flake. She had met my dad at the Der Weinershnitzel and fell in love. At least love in my mom's warped mind. They married and soon after, I came along. Let's just say I was unexpected. I'm not trying to be bitter, I'm just telling you the truth. I loved my parents, they just weren't meant to be parents. Lizzie was too worried about partying and getting bombed to care about a child. My Dad was the same way. By the time I was 3, I knew how to cook myself macaroni and cheese. See, Lizzie and Rob didn't have time for me, no time for dinner. Now, I'm sure my life must sound terrible, and by now many readers are sighing awwww in sympathy. Now, to comfort you, the reader, I could lie and tell you that my childhood wasn't that terrible. But you see, I promised a very special person I wouldn't lie anymore. This person will be mentioned later on in my story.  
  
Liz was drunk all the time. And she would become agitated very easily. I remember one time, I asked her if I could have a candy bar. She looked at me for a moment, like I was insane for asking her for something. Then she reared her hand back and slapped me across the face. She swore that if I ever asked her for something like that again, I would be thrown out onto the streets. To a seven-year-old, that is a terrifying thought, being alone out on the streets. So I learned to never ask Liz for anything and to stay out of her way.  
  
My dad cheated on my mom. All the time. Liz sometimes acted like she didn't know or didn't care, but then sometimes she would scream at him for it. Rob would stare at her and just leave the apartment. Sometimes he would be gone for days. My mother never knew where he was. He just disappeared like that sometimes. And then he would come flying back into our lives after three or four days like nothing had happened. On my dad's brief hiatuses, Liz would really get plastered. She would drink day and night and then she would pass out. Once again, terrifying to a child. I would come in from playing or school and find her on the floor. But I got used to it. I would simply drag her into the bedroom and pull her up on the bed. It took a lot of work and sometimes I would have to have my best friend, Landon, help me. Then I would wrap her up in a blanket and leave her be. Landon and I were both small for our age, but tougher than anyone else our age. We had similar homelifes, except for the fact that his parents divorced earlier.  
  
One of the best memories of my childhood, was my visits to the library down the street from my apartment building. I would go a spend hours just staring at the books, as I could not read when I started to go to that library. There were so many, different sizes, shapes, colors. It all started my fascination. The library was always silent, peaceful, so unlike my home. One kind librarian, Miss Blythe, saw me come in everyday. Finally, a Monday, she sat me down and pulled out an easy picture book, Good Night, Moon. She began to teach me how to read. In no time, I was soaking in every word. I read all the children's and moved on to the juvenile section by the time I was 6. Books were an escape for me. It took me to a world where drunkeness and neglect did not exist. Every child had a parent who loved them, every man found the woman of his dreams, a fairy princess. I read tales of adventures, great love, and history. But I was also an extremely cynical six-year-old. I did not believe in fairy tales like most children my age. I had already seen to much to believe. Then again, I had never seen Stars Hollow. But I did continue to read.  
  
My home life never did seem to get better. Liz was always throwing parties. The people she invited frightened me. I always hid during the rauscous parties. The people were always loud, rowdy, drunk and they loved to pick on the little one. Liz or Rob never did anything to stop them. So, I hid in the closet and I would make up stories of my own to pass the hours away. Perhaps that started my passion for writing stories.  
  
A good thing Rob did do was teach me magic tricks. He was a wonderful magician. When he was sober, he would occasionally teach me them. I've always remembered them all, for some reason. Maybe because it was the only thing Rob had ever tried to do with me. Or maybe I'm just weird like that.  
  
I'll never forget my first day of school. We went to Union Elementary School. Landon and I lived in the same apartment building, so we had known each other since we were tiny tykes. We stuck together. We had Miss Gardner for our kindergarten teacher. We walked into school for the first time and were scared of all the children there. Miss Gardner took an instant dislike to me. See, we were 5 and in kindergarten. We weren't really supposed to have any idea how to read. But I had been reading since I was 3. Like I said before, I was almost to the juvenile section of the library. Miss Gardner didn't like the fact that I already knew how to read. She was always picking on me, for knowing how. She would try to make me slip up in class, but I didn't usually. But her constant picking made some of the other kids try to beat up on me. Soon, Landon and I had quite a reputation and we were only in kindergarten. Soon, the kids started to respect me. As we grew older, I was the bad boy. I wasn't exactly popular, but I was well known. We had quite a group of friends, mostly the ones that most parents didn't want their sweet little angels consorting with. We weren't outcasts, by any stretch of the means.  
  
Slowly, like most kids in my situation, I began to get into trouble. My bad boy mechanism was pretty much a safety procaution. If I didn't care, I didn't get hurt. It was a great philosophy and it always worked. By the ripe old age of eight, my friends and I started to steal. We stole petty things, like candy bars, toys, baseball cards, the things our parents never bought us. We were always lacking in things, so we took it upon ourselves to take them. Children like me, we didn't have money anyways, and we weren't really able to ask our parents for help.  
  
The group I mainly hung out with consisted of Landon, Ryan, Jarod, Rachel, and Charity. All of us had the same home life. We stuck together, never ratting the other one out. The three of us guys were always getting girls, of course. Supposedly, girls can't resist a bad boy. I guess that's true. Now, that probably sounds pretty self-centered and conceited, but I'm not meaning it that way. At all. But it is very vital to my story. Let's just say I've been around a few times. I dated tons of girls, as did Landon and the others. Charity and Rachel were the same way with the guys. Finally, Charity and I settled on each other, and we were together the longest I had ever been with someone. We dated for a whole year, from age 13 to 14. But we parted amicably. I was bored, and so was Charity.  
  
Truthfully, boredom was one of the things that got us in the most trouble. We wouldn't have anything to do, so we entertained ourselves by smoking and doing a few drugs. I never did drugs, but my friends did. We drank, too. You'd think that after seeing what alcohol and nicotine did to our parents, we would avoid it. I suppose that should be true, but as you know the good old saying monkey see, monkey do. We also began to attend raves. You know, the all night parties that had drugs readily available with the pounding music and easy girls.  
  
Soon, I started to cut school with my friends. They had all started to skip school before I did. But I grew bored with school. Like I said, I had already read a lot, and by the time I was in my teens, I had already read all the books that we were assigned to read. The work was hardly what I would call challenging, so I didn't see the point in going. I just didn't want to go anymore. So we were all together all the time. My friends were hurt the same way I was. Landon was perhaps the one who wanted to see me get out of New York and better myself. Best friends are like that though. We knew what we were doing was wrong, but we didn't really care. It didn't matter anymore. Nothing did.  
  
I read all the books at the little library down the street. I had even read many of them multiple times. So, I started to buy my own books. I did make a little bit of money doing some odd jobs, but not much. My own library became quite extensive and they were my most treasured posessions.  
  
Landon and I were arrested one time for stealing a jacket. Landon needed a new coat, because New York was getting cold and his jacket was all ripped up. So I ran interference while he hid the jacket. But we got caught. So we spent the night in jail, until I finally woke Lizzie up and got her to come bail us out. Let's just say she was not happy that she had been disturbed by me. Several other arrests followed that first one, for shoplifting, we got caught at a rave for drinking underage, and other stuff like that. Landon and I had a special relationship. We both wanted something good to happen to the other. Landon and I both wanted out of Brooklyn, but we knew that would never ever happen. Landon knew I read. He was the only one of my friends who knew that.  
  
Rob finally deserted us when I was 15. He just left. At first, I thought it had just been on of his disappearing acts, but he never came back. I didn't believe he had totally left us, I just knew he would walk through the door, but after three weeks I knew he would never return. Liz knew, too. I think she knew before I did. And she was sad. She wouldn't admit it, but I knew it hurt her. It hurt me, too, though neither of us would ever acknowledge that fact. I was used to getting jilted like that. Liz marched down to the court and had a divorce drawn up immediately. No one really knows what happened to Rob. He just kind of dropped off the face of the Earth. Liz decided she couldn't deal with me anymore. Maybe it was because I was a reminder of a man she once loved, or maybe she just saw it as a way to get rid of me, but when I was 17, she shipped me off. She sent me to my uncle, Luke Danes, who lived in Stars Hollow, Connecticut. Landon took me to the bus stop and we said good bye. I would miss Landon. But he was happy I was getting out of Brooklyn. He knew it was my chance. 


	2. Stars Hollow

Disclaimer first chapter. This covers almost every episode Jess is in, but I had to run it a little into the third chapter.  
  
Chapter Two Stars Hollow  
  
  
  
I stepped off my bus to find my uncle, dressed in plaid, waiting anxiously for me. He tried to be nice, in his own special Luke way, but by the time I was 17, I was so very angry. I went to his diner, put my stuff down and left. Stars Hollow was truly frightening to me, but then again I think it would terrify most people. To me, Stars Hollow was Hell. There were decorations everywhere, people smiling and laughing. There were twelve stores that sold only porcelin unicorns. That town even had a troubador. There were town meetings. Even the library was weird. Only twelve books in the shelves. My own library had tons of books, but I wanted some new books. I did find a bookstore, Andrew's, that held some pretty nice books. After touring the town, I went back to the diner. He introduced me to Lorelai Gilmore. She smiled at me and was friendly, once again in her own Lorelai way. I wouldn't accept it, though. No one was ever nice to me. I just nodded and stormed up to the apartment. I regret it now, but I can't go back and change it. See, Lorelai was a very interesting person. She was fast-talking, coffee addicted, young woman. She had a daughter that was just like her. Luke came upstairs and told me that Lorelai had invited us to dinner. She might have done it to let me know that not everyone in Stars Hollow was from the Twilight Zone, but I didn't care. Besides, Lorelai's friends were just as weird as the rest of town.  
  
We arrived at the Gilmore household late, because I didn't get ready to leave on time. I didn't have any idea that when I walked in that house, my life would slowly start to change. I came in and looked around, while Luke had pulled Lorelai aside, probably to apologize. On the mantel, there were tons of pictures. I picked one up and it held the photograph of one of the most beautiful girls. She looked so happy, innocent, and I must admit I was intrigued. Lorelai led me into the kitchen, where I was immediately asked by Sookie the chef if I liked cheese. Jackson, her boyfriend who grew fruit, asked me if I wanted to try a lemon. I was shocked by this. Who asks people questions like that? Lorelai tried to help me escape and took me into her daughter's room. The girl in the picture turned from her laptop and smiled her naive smile. She said hey and told me her name was Rory. As I watched her, I felt something stir inside of me that I had never felt before in my life. I turned and saw her bookshelves filled with books. Some I had read and others I had not. She offered to let me borrow a book, but I declined. I wanted to leave, but she told me to stay and that it would be fun and that I should trust her. I replied tartily that I didn't even know her, how do I know that she's trustworthy. She looked at me innocently, smiling, and asked if she looked trustworthy. Of course she did. But I shrugged and followed her into the kitchen. She went into the living room and I swiped a beer from the fridge. I slipped back into her room and took the book Howl and then I went out onto the porch. Lorelai came out, took the beer and then tried to talk to me. She said she understood and that I was lucky to have Luke. This was true, but I wasn't ready to hear that. So I crudely asked her if she was sleeping with my uncle. She got this shocked look on her face and started babbling about wanting to smash a cream pie in my face. I told her to leave me alone and that she didn't know. She left, hurt, and she hated me. She's hated me ever since. I don't blame her, but she had no idea what my life was like. She had no idea how bad it was to be hated by your own parents, to have teachers that could care less what happened to you. It hurt so bad and I wanted everyone and everything else to hurt, too. Everyone except Rory, that is. I had known her only for a few minutes and I already knew she didn't deserve any pain inflicted on her. All I wanted to do was protect her, and I didn't know why.  
  
Stars Hollow High was even worse than the town itself. Everyone was really into sports and stuff like that. The classes were terribly boring, the English Lit class reading books I had read when I was 8. Their curriculum seemed even worse than Union's did. They said the pledge of allegience every day, but not only that, they said it in 6 different languages! It was so terrible. I guess it fit in with the quirkiness of the town, though. Well, after school, Luke was waiting for me. He told me that Taylor Doose, the market owner and one of my biggest fans, had called and said I stole money from a donation cup. I said I didn't and Luke started in on how that didn't sound convincing. I lashed out at him, telling him to leave me alone. Luke said fine and I said fine and we both stormed down the bridge. The next thing I knew I was soaking wet. Luke had pushed me into the lake. I know Luke feels awful about it, but it was the first time anyone had ever tried to get through to me. He tried to help me. And it did help for me to be pushed into a lake. The lake is probably my favorite spot in town. It holds a lot of great memories, some of which I will share, some of which I won't.  
  
Later that night, Luke came tumbling into the apartment, rambling. He informed me that I would not be smoking anymore, he bought everything from the patch to self help books. He said I would return the bridge money and Peirpon. Peirpon was a garden gnome that Babette and Morey Dell owned. Yes, they do name and talk to their gnomes. Then Luke said something I will never forget. He said, "I will not let you disappear. You will not just drop off the face of the Earth. I will not let you." I was so angry at him. He had taken my cigarette and practically grounded me, telling me that I would go to school, work in the diner, do my homework, and then go to bed. I stood up and left the diner. It was the first time that anyone had ever tried to take responsibility for me, the first time anyone had ever inadvertedly told me that they wanted me around. So it was a double whammy, emotionally. I was mad at him and I was also touched, in a way. In Luke's own manner, he was telling me that he did care.  
  
I was walking down the street when I saw her again. Rory was coming out of Doose's Market. I stopped her and we talked a little. She joked in her own Gilmore way about me leaving the dinner. I tried to impress her with a lame magic trick my dad had taught me, but she wasn't. So I gave her back the book I had stolen/borrowed. She was totally shocked, until I had informed her that I had written in margin notes. A look of pure joy washed over her face, her clear blue eyes twinkling, her pink lips smiling. She opened it quickly and asked curiously if I had read it before. I replied cheekily about forty times. Previously, at the dinner, I had told her that I didn't read much for some reason. Maybe I just wanted to make it seem more mysterious when I did return her book, surprise her. She smiled again and I said I had to go. Then she told me, "Goodbye, Dodger." I asked her what she meant. She replied that I had to figure it out. I automatically replied Artful Dodger from Oliver Twist. Rory looked so pleased that I understood. From the moment on, I wanted to please her. All the time. I wanted her to give me that smile, it was so special. It was like being awarded a gift when she smiled like that. It confused me, though. Sure, I had liked plenty of girls before, but it had never felt like this. Rory understood me. Even from our few encounters, she did. No one had ever understood before. Why would she? She was the innocent, perfect girl who had the perfect life in the perfect town. But she seemed to know. She didn't judge me, either. She just watched me with kind of a fascinated interest. And it didn't bother me at all.  
  
Perhaps I should describe to you Rory Gilmore. She is absolutely beautiful. She has chocolate colored hair, crystal blue eyes, snow white skin, and pink lips. She was always smiling about something or other. Rory looked beautiful in anything she wore, even her prep school plaid uniform. She and her mother have this uncanny relationship. They were practically joined at the hip. In their own way, they owned the town. Everyone in Stars Hollow adored them. Even my uncle. Luke loved Stars Hollow and hated it at the same time. He was bound by his own limitations. He hated all the hooplah they always had around town, but Stars Hollow was his home. He loved Lorelai, at least that was my opinion when I came to town. As I mentioned before, the Gilmore girls were addicted to coffee. They came into the diner at least four times a day for coffee and meals. See, Lorelai and Rory cannot cook. So Luke fed them most of the time. And he didn't charge them most of the time. Lorelai and Rory had their own special priveliges. They would come in after closing when they needed a pick-me up coffee chat. They babbled, joked, and tormented Luke all the time. The Gilmores consumed an endless amount of coffee and their stomachs were infinite pits. But they were so much fun to be around, although at the time I would never, ever admit that in public. Their bubbly personalities were contagious. Everyone wanted the Gilmores to be happy. Everyone loved the Gilmores. Life went on in sleepy Stars Hollow, boring as usual. I cut school, but I did work occasionally at the diner, usually when the Gilmore girls came in. Rory and I shared our secret smiles and slight acknowledgements, but we rarely ever had a chance to talk alone.  
  
Well, I was so bored, I decided to pull a brilliant prank. I drew a chalk outline of a 'dead' body and put yellow police tape outside of Doose's market that put the town in an uproar. Everyone was outraged! In Brooklyn, no one would have even noticed things like that, police tape was like an everyday occurance, but in Stars Hollow it was a huge deal. One day, Rory was outside the market alone. I went up to her and she instantly began to lecture me. She told me Luke had taken a lot of crap for me. I did feel a little guilty. Luke had been good to me, especially compared to the other people in my life. I walked away at Rory's request, but she began her speech again. Rory rarely ever gets angry, so finally she was finished and I had to ask. "You at least thought it was funny, didn't you?" Rory tried to hide her smile. She pouted that it was beside the point, but she couldn't keep from grinning. I felt justified then. Hey, it had made her and me laugh a little. But then he came out. I should have known that the perfect girl had the perfect boyfriend. He was tall, seemed like 10 feet tall. She introduced us in her naivette way, not knowing that she was introducing two enemies. It was a given. Dean was her boyfriend, and I was the one who could possibly challenge that. And as much as I tried to challenge the fact that Dean was Rory's boyfriend, he was still her boyfriend. Dean glared at me and I smirked. I couldn't resist saying we always seemed to run into each other after she told me she would see me later. Rory smiled at me and she and Dean walked away. I was nearly heartbroken. Rory had a boyfriend. But I liked challenges. In fact, I was used to them.  
  
Well, as I've mentioned previously, Stars Hollow was big on their festivals. Lorelai had been planning a huge dinner for these people, but they were snowed in. The Inn had already bought all the food and decorations, so Lorelai decided to throw the dinner for the town. So Luke dragged me to the Bracebridge dinner. Rory was dressed up and I had to admit that Lorelai had really gone all out. People were talking in old English and she had rented horses and carriages. There were several courses of food that most people have never even heard of. Well, the town was ecstatic with the party. Everyone lined up for the carriages, and for some reason Rory ended up alone in one. So I hopped in next to her. We talked about inane topics such as the snow woman she and her mother had built for a contest that was made to look like Bjork. Then she complained about the guy who looked like a professional at making snowmen that had also entered. Then I told her that Luke had made up some crap about Liz calling and saying she wanted me to come home for Christmas. Luke said he had told her he needed me at the diner. I knew that was a lie. Liz didn't care if I was home for Christmas. Liz probably wouldn't even care if I never came home again. She got this look of sympathy in her eye and she apologized. I told her not to feel bad for me. So she smiled and nodded. Like I said before, she understood. Everyone stayed the night at the Independence Inn. The next morning, she was standing next to tall Frankenstein and his little sister. She glanced over at me and our eyes locked. She smiled warmly at me and I didn't feel so bad about being stuck in Stars Hollow. We had almost made an understanding of one another. Her looks warmed my heart, as cheesy as it sounds. Oh, yeah, by the way, Bjork the snow woman won the contest, after the professional snowmand was mysteriously beheaded.  
  
Rory had evidentally started a chain reaction of hiding inappropriate movies. What she had really done was suggest they put a video that had an explicit cover on a higher shelf. Instead, Taylor and the town jack of all trades Kirk put almost every movie behind a bright red curtain deemed the Rory curtain. Everything but Bambi and Dumbo was behind the lovely curtain. Rory was furious. They even put her picture up in the window. I found her staring in disgust at it. I couldn't help but taunt her a little. She glared at me and I smiled. I told her not to worry that it wouldn't be there for long. I knew that would pique Rory's interest. She demanded I come back and would I refuse her? Of course not. She asked me what I had done. I nonchalantly replied that whoever rented Bambi and Dumbo would get a little surprise. I walked away to her calls. See, earlier that day I had switched the two movies with a Playboy special and Striptease. Probably one of my better pranks. Rory had awarded me with a special smile once again. It was the most precious gift I ever recieved. I was head over heels with her and I hardly even knew it.  
  
Stars Hollow had yet another pathetic contest. But this one I could not resist becoming involved in. Girls made baskets full of food and they were put up for sale and anyone was up for dibs on it. So Rory's basket went up for three dollars and Dean so gallantly offered to buy it for five dollars. And then I bid. We bid back and forth until the price reached up to ninety dollars. Dean withdrew and I had won the basket. Dean got this look of horror across his face and let me tell you, it was priceless. He came storming over and Rory followed. He was yelling and screaming and begging her not to go. But she told him it was tradition and she came with me, much to Dean's dispair. I took her to the bridge and we sat down, our feet dangling close to the water. I opened the basket and found an unknown bowl of something in it. I asked her if Dean would actually eat it and she said he would. I wasn't going to let the bag boy best me, so I took a bite. It was so disgusting and she started to crack up. I then knew that she had tricked me. That pretty much broke the ice. We debated books. I found out she hated Hemingway and she found out I hated Ayn Rand. Total opposite of each other. We agreed to let each other borrow books and c.d.'s. It started a pretty constant exchange of our libraries. Finally I offered to take her out for pizza and the bookstore. We still hadn't eaten anything. She stood up and started walking away from the bridge. I looked down and a bracelet lay there. I had no idea of the significance, but I knew it was connected to Rory. I kept it in my pocket at all times after that.  
  
Pizza was amazing with Rory. She ate tons and we had so much fun talking. We talked about real things, not just small talk. I still hadn't told her about my life in New York and she didn't ask. I think she knew that things had been pretty bad. Then, later that afternoon, we headed for Andrew's Bookstore. It was so fun to watch her in the bookstore. She would exclaim over each item she found, or she would pick up a book she had already read and ask if I had read it. We talked about our likes and dislikes in books, different quotes, characters, and storylines. Finally, when Stars Hollow started shutting down at nine, she knew she had to go home. So she and I walked to Luke's together and drank coffee. Then, she left me. But amazingly she called me after she got home and we spent several more hours talking.  
  
Lorelai actually hired me to clean out their raingutters. Evidentally, there had been a mishap with the radioactive gutters. Don't ask, even I don't get this one. Luke came tumbling into the apartment and flipped out. All of a sudden, he started talking about boxes and socks suffocating him and me laughing with hair gel and then he told me we were going to look for new apartments the next morning. We did. He dragged me all over Stars Hollow, measuring things and pounding on walls and pipes. Finally, I escaped to the Gilmore house.  
  
Rory answered the door and her hair looked different than usual. I commented and she got all flustered, which was totally priceless. Lorelai came in and took me to the kitchen, where Rory led me outside. She asked me to be nice to her mother if I cared about her at all. I couldn't resist asking her what made her think I cared about her. She began to blush profusely. She started to stammer, which was something Rory Gilmore never did. I actually enjoyed it greatly. I did try. Rory came bursting in the door, yelling about Dean's bracelet. I knew it was the very bracelet that was in my jean's pocket. Rory was practically in tears. They were searching all over the house for it. The next day, I put the bracelet back in her room, but Lorelai saw me coming out. I went outside and saw Rory sitting dejectedly on the porch steps. I tried to cheer her up, but she wouldn't. I told her she should search in her room again. She did and, of course, she found the bracelet. Lorelai came out and accused me of stealing the bracelet. I didn't steal it, though. I just wanted a piece of Rory close to me. Lorelai said that she thought I cared about Rory, why would I hurt her like that? I wanted to shout out, I didn't want to hurt her. I hated the idea of hurting Rory. But I didn't. I just nodded and left the yard.  
  
As for the apartment hunting, Luke flipped out once more. He came in with a sledgehammer and hit a huge hole in the wall. He turned to me, handed it to me, and told me to get to work, that the hole was going to be my new room. Then, he promised that we could hold hands and skip afterwards, because I had said that nonstop all day. I soon figured out that we were enlarging the apartment. Luke had bought the store next door and planned on extending the whole place.  
  
Lorelai went out of town for a weekend, leaving Rory alone. I saw this as the perfect opportuninty. I cooked up a bunch of food, since Rory was cooking impaired and took it over to her house. I more or less weaseled an invitation to stay, but the Rory invited her friend, Paris, who had been there to study. We sat there, debating books and such. Then, the phone call came. She came back to the kitchen and asked me to leave. I knew that Dean had been the caller. So I patronized her and took my good old time leaving. By the time I got out the door, Dean was almost on the porch. Dean was incredibly jealous and extremely possesive of Rory. I taunted him some and then I finally left, when Rory had turned her pleading sapphire eyes on me. I don't know what happened after I left, but I'm still alive to tell about it.  
  
The next day she came into the diner. She thanked Luke for the care package, and Luke told her he didn't send any food. See, I had told Rory that Luke had sent me over with the food. It dawned on Rory who had sent her the food. This is very dangerous information to be held in a Gilmore's hand. She began to question me, which I very stealthily avoided answering. Rory's eyes were sparkling pools of water and I knew she was pleased that I had wanted to make sure she had eaten.  
  
Our friendship continued to bud, much to the dispair of most. She split her time evenly between school, Lorelai, Dean, her best friend, Lane, and me. Our calls to each other increased over time to the point where we called to tell each other goodnight. It sure helped me sleep, after hearing her voice talk melodically through the phone. We met often, also, at the bridge mostly and we would just sit there in comfortable, companionable silence and read. We went to book fairs together, too. I had never been able to do that before and I had a feeling that she hadn't either. We shared our love of books and understood when the other got excited when they found a particular one. Many times I was puzzled about her relationship with Dean, and not just because I hated him. It just didn't make sense. He wasn't interested in the same things, he didn't like to read, he wasn't as smart as her, and he liked sports. What did they talk about? But Rory thought she loved him. She didn't really tell him much about our friendship because he would become outraged if she spent any time with me. So would Lorelai, but she kept it up with me. She wouldn't just drop me as a friend, just because people disapproved of our friendship. I admired her for it. I loved her for it.  
  
Finally, Luke got called into my school to have a little chat with the Principal. I wasn't that surprised. I had stolen all of the baseballs from the school, I rarely went to school, and when I did go, I didn't do the work. He was told that I wouldn't pass my junior year if I didn't my grades up. So he asked Rory to tutor me. I know he did it because he knew I liked Rory. He figured if I ever listened to anyone, it would be Rory. Everyone, except her, knew pretty much how I felt about her. She tried her best to get me to concetrate on my schoolwork, but I didn't listen to her. I talked while she tried to teach me. I did magic tricks, asked her quetions about Dean, all kinds of stuff that did not involve school. Finally, we made a deal. We would go get ice cream cones and then I would study. She asked me questions about what I wanted to do when I graduated. I told her I was just going to float around and she gave me a speech on how I was smart and could do a lot with my life. No one had ever told me that before. I was always Jess the screw up, Jess the mistake. She told me about wanting to be a overseas journalist and then she started to doubt herself. I told her she would be a great journalist. We were almost to Luke's. I asked her if she wanted to go back or turn right. She said to turn right. So I did. A furry cat ran out in the road and I swerved, hitting a bench. Rory jerked forward.  
  
I called the police and ambulance immediately. I went straight to Rory side and I helped her out of the totaled car. She was crying silently. I asked if she was okay and she said her wrist hurt. I held her tiny palm and studied it. I rubbed her hand as we waited for the police. We gave our reports to the police and then we were in the ambulance. I couldn't leave her yet. I rode with her to the Hartford Hospital. The doctor checked her over and determined that her wrist had been fractured. He took her behind the Forbidden Doors. I watched her go through the window and I knew I would never see her again. I knew I had to leave the hospital. I had leave Stars Hollow.  
  
I ended up at the bridge, shockingly enough. I couldn't keep myself from crying. I hadn't cried in years. I had hurt the one person in this world that cared about me. I would never, ever be able to forgive myself. She probably hated me. Luke came to the bridge and he sat down next to me. I was smoking and he hadn't even said anything. He knew I was upset and he knew it was an accident. We didn't say much, but eventually we decided I should go back to New York. Actually I decided that. So we went back to the diner and I packed up my bag. I got on the bus and left Barneytown behind. I would miss Rory so much, but it was better this way. I couldn't hurt her in New York. 


	3. Home Again

Disclaimer first chapter.  
  
Chapter Three Home Again  
  
  
  
Landon was waiting for me at the bus stop. I slumped off the bus and Landon followed silently. We started back to the apartment building. Finally, he asked me who she was and what I had done. My whole story about Rory came pouring out. He listened to me patiently. He said these exact words, "You fell for her and you hurt her. You think she'll hate you, but somehow I doubt that. Call her." I didn't listen to him. I never listened to anyone. Except Rory. I opened the door and found one of Liz's parties blazing. I found Liz dancing with a tall guy. She glared at me and asked me what I had done to make Luke kick me out of Stars Hollow. I just left for my bedroom, not saying a word. I spent the next week reading in Washington Square Park. I finally decided to call her, I missed her voice. I dialed Rory's number and her voice rang over the other end with loud music blaring in the background. I almost didn't speak. I was afraid. But I spoke anyways. We talked momentarily and then an akward silence spread over us. Rory and I had never been akward in silence before. We hung up, but the good thing was she didn't seem mad.  
  
Imagine my surprise when the next day, Rory showed up at the park in her school uniform. I didn't ask any of the questions that were running through my mind. I took her to eat and to a little music store. We spent all day skitting around the real reason she came to New York. She wasn't mad at me, she never was. She didn't blame me for the crash. Finally, at the end of the day, I took her to the bus stop. We nearly hugged, but we didn't. I think Rory was afraid of what might happen if she hugged me and I was afraid of well, scaring her. So she got on the bus and I finally asked her why she came. She looked at me steadily through the tinted glass and she told me she came because I didn't say goodbye. I think we both knew that she came for more than that, but she wasn't ready to admit it. And I was not going to push her. No way. And so I left, watching her on the bus, getting out one of her many bus books.  
  
Life in Brooklyn was the same as when I left it. Liz hadn't changed a bit, neither had my friends. I, on the otherhand, had. Being in Stars Hollow, with Luke and Rory, had changed me. I had quit smoking, I didn't drink much, and I still didn't do drugs. I didn't even want to party much anymore. I still cut school, I never went back to Union High. Life in Brooklyn seemed different to me. I missed Stars Hollow, believe it or not. Rory's visit had filled me with a whole new longing. I wanted to be back in the sheltered, Richard Scary version town. I wanted to go back. My friends could tell I had changed, but avoided saying anything. Until Landon told me I should go back. I knew he was right. I just hoped Luke would take me back. He had no reason to allow me to live with him again. I had ruined his life, pulling pranks and cutting school. He and Lorelai had even gotten in several fights over me. So had Rory and Lorelai. But I knew I had to go home. So once again, I was on my way home. Home to Stars Hollow.  
  
I snuck into the diner and waited for Luke to come up. Rory and Lorelai still hadn't even been in the diner. That was when I figured out that Lorelai and Luke had had one doozy of a fight. Rory had mentioned it when she came to New York, but she didn't really go into details. But evidentally, Lorelai and Luke had hardly spoken two words to each other. Lorelai apologized, but Luke wouldn't accept it. I didn't know what happened and Rory didn't either. I continued to wait for Luke and finally he came up the stairs. He was surprised to see me, to say the least. We made a deal on letting me stay. I had to swallow my pride. I promised I would stay out of trouble and for once I meant it. I nearly cried again, but I didn't. It was just like I had a whole new life now. Luke took me back in for no real reason at all. I really appreciated it. I started to leave, to go see Rory, of course, but he told me she wasn't home, she was at Sookie and Jackson's wedding. I began to wonder if I was really that transparant. He told me to leave her alone, but I never listened before, why should I start now. So I left the apartment and headed down to the lake.  
  
I saw her in her blue bridesmaid dress, walking with her dad. He answered his cell phone and walked away from her. She looked over and saw me. She came running towards the lake. I told her I had moved back. And then she kissed me. I was so surprised, I nearly fell backwards. I put my hands in her silky hair and then started to wrap my arms around her tiny waist. She pulled away like she'd been burned. I knew she had just realized that she had kissed me, while she was still with Dean. And that just wasn't like Rory. But that was the best kiss I had ever experienced. Her lips were so soft, smooth, and they tasted like vanilla coffee. She started to panic and then she ran. I was dying to know what was going through her brain, but she wasn't ready to share those thoughts with me. She called back to me, "Welcome Home." She disappeared into the wedding. I walked back to the diner, in a stunned bliss. I could not stop touching my lips and licking them. They still tasted like her. My wish had come true. My life was actually looking up.  
  
Shortly after the kiss, Rory came into the diner, tears running down her face. The wedding reception was in full swing and just about everyone in Stars Hollow except Luke and me were there. I guessed that Dean had found out about the kiss and had freaked out. I opened my arms for her. She came directly into them. Her wet teardrops soaked into my shirt. Luke came out and saw us. He glanced at me questioningly and I shrugged. I really had no idea what was wrong, I just had that hunch. She finally looked up at me, her blue eyes filled with liquid drops and I could feel her pain. Suddenly, I felt like it had to be more then Dean. I gently put her face in my hands and I kissed the tears off her cheeks. The droplets tasted so warm and salty inside my mouth. Luke was still watching us. Eventually, Rory sobbed out her story. Christopher and her mom were going to get back together, but then her dad's ex had called and told him she was pregnant. He just left her and Lorelai. Rory was so hurt and enraged. Why did her dad want to make things right with that baby? He never had with her. Luke was clinching his jaw as he poured her a cup of coffee. I knew Luke was mad at Christopher and he was worrying about the Gilmore girls. I began to wonder why she came to me instead of Dean, but I didn't ask. I continued to hold her tight, rocking her back and forth. Unfortunately, that's how Dean found us. He became so angry with Rory, his eyes were blazing. He was so sure Rory was cheating on him. He asked her all kinds of outrageous questions, like how long we had been dating and stuff like that. He never gave her a chance to explain before he broke up with her. Rory just looked at me like her whole world had just collapsed and I knew I was going to be the one that picked up the pieces of her crumbled life and slowly glue them back together. A whole new set of tears flowed from Rory's eyes. She slumped down onto a bar stool and downed her mug of coffee. I held her for what seemed like hours, kissing the top of her head, breathing in her comforting scent. Luke had disappeared and I figured he had left to find Lorelai. He reentered the diner, holding tightly to a heart- broken Lorelai. I guessed their fight was over. Lorelai stared at the two of us and murmured something like the hits just kept on coming. Rory whispered that she was leaving for a school thing in Washington, D.C. tomorrow for six weeks and that she would talk to me then. She and Lorelai left together, holding onto each other for comfort and support. Let me tell you, the next six weeks were the most difficult, longest weeks in my life. 


	4. Discoveries

Disclaimer first chapter.  
  
Chapter Four Discoveries  
  
  
  
I drove Rory to a little cafe and bookstore in Hartford for our fist official date. I wouldn't tell her where I was taking her, so the whole way up there she was so excited. She was gorgeous as usual. She babbled about the last book she read and begging me to attend the town meeting. The town meetings were a little, uh, too old town for me. There was yelling about different mundane issues and Taylor dangerously had a hold of a mallet. Rory told me they were fun, especially with her and Lorelai there to be our own private peanut gallery. I reluctantly agreed. We ate dinner and then we browsed through the bookstore aisles. I bought her A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. Our date was perfect in my opinion. I drove us home and we walked around Stars Hollow, our hands intertwined. Back in Brooklyn, you didn't hold hands, it was considered pretty lame. Here, it was good. I was just glad to be near Rory. I stopped by the diner and picked up her favorite desert, cherry pie with whip cream and chocolate chip ice cream. Then we strolled to the lake. We stared at the stars, eating, and kissing. We held each other for hours that night. Eventually, we walked to the Gilmore house. I placed a chaste kiss on her lips and Rory deepened it. Then we parted. Our first date seemed almost magical in Stars Hollow. After all, it was a fairy tale town.  
  
I did go to the town meeting the next night. Lorelai and Rory arrived late, encouraging Taylor to bang the mallet and give them a long lecture on promptness. Rory smiled sweetly and Lorelai could barely keep a straight face. She sat down next to Luke and Rory sat down on my lap, as all the chairs were taken. The most important topic of the meeting, Taylor wanted to make the grass cutting size to 1 and a half inches in lenghth. Luke greatly opposed it, and I have to give Rory credit. She was right, it was amusing. Lorelai stood up and announced that she absolutely refused to conform and Rory yelled out, "Right on, Sister! We're not a herd of sheep!" This confused many and made me laugh. Miss Patty wanted a new festival in June, as there were no major holidays in the month. The festival of dance was passed soon after. Finally, the meeting ended and everyone went back to the diner for food.  
  
Rory and I had kept our relationship under wraps for all of three days. We had wanted to give us time to get used to being together before we were hounded by thousands of questions asked by curious townspeople. But I suppose walking hand in hand at night and Rory sitting on my lap was not the most brilliant way to keep it hidden for a few days. Soon, Miss Patty and Babette were telling Rory what a naughty girl she was being, going out with the bad boy. Kirk was expressing his concerns about our relationship, as he had vowed to always express his reservations after Dean. Taylor was downright furious. He yelled at Lorelai, wondering what she could be thinking, allowing a good girl like Rory date me. Then Luke got it next, for letting me come back home. Andrew didn't really seem that surprised, because he had always seen Rory and I together. Grant sang a special song for us as soon as he found out. As I've said before, Stars Hollow was a really interesting town. Dean finally got whif of it, once the poloroids of Rory and I smooching were passed around town. I forgot to mention, Kirk took pictures, too. Plus the town was buzzing with the news of our relationship. So, Dean came storming into the diner. He had finally accepted that Rory had not been cheating on him, after he had accosted both Lane, Lorelai, and Miss Patty the know all and all had said that Rory was not seeing me. Lorelai hadn't even known about the kiss yet. Back to my story, he came tumbling into the doorway, jerking the bell nearly off the top of the door. He started to yell at Rory, how could she be with me? He called her a whole slew of names including slut and witch, none of which Rory was. I almost punched Dean, but Rory had stopped me. Only Rory would take such a humiliation with such grace. She just stood there, nodding, letting Dean yell his little heart out. Everyone had stopped what they were doing, observing the spectacle. Luke was breathing heavily, ready to go punch Dean out, Lorelai was close behind Rory. Everyone else was getting angry with Dean as well. I wouldn't have been surprised if they ran him out of town with pitchforks. Dean stopped, and just watched her. She had tears in her eyes and she didn't say a word. They stared each other down. Finally, Rory whispered quietly, so quiet and in the silent diner, it echoed loudly. "I loved you, Dean. You were my first love and my first kiss, but you weren't right for me. I love Jess with all of my heart. He understands things that no one in this world will ever understand about me. He's there for me when I need him and he gives me space when I need space. He's not jealous either. Jess is a good person and you will not tell me otherwise. He's good to me and that's all that matters. I'm sorry that it hurts you that I'm with him, I'm sorry that you are this angry with me. But it will not change anything. I will not let you destroy my happiness." Her voice was wavering. Dean looked at her in shock and then he thundered out of the diner with death glares being cast at him in every direction. I hugged Rory then and held her. I whispered to her that she was in no way a slut and that she didn't deserve any of the things Dean had said to her. She nodded into my chest and I could feel the eyes of the diner watching me now. I didn't care, for once, that my secret side was being shown. Rory needed me now and I wasn't going to be my usual sarcastic self when she needed me. Not after everything she had done for me. Lorelai and Luke were at her side, making sure she was going to be okay. She was, of course. She had stopped the flow of tears and she was smiling again. She kissed my lightly as she and her mother left the diner. Luke and I stared after the Gilmore girls. They left the diner seeming cold, and the biting cold could only be lifted by there presence. Luke and I were so whipped.  
  
Rory and I were both extremely busy during our senior year. I was actually applying myself to my work and Rory was working as usual. We generally studied together, either at her house or upstairs in my room. We did get a fair amount of studying done, in between debates, complaints, and kisses. One night, Rory was exhausted from all the work she had been doing at the devil school, so she fell asleep, stretched out across my bed. Let me tell you, if you've never watched the person you love sleep, I highly recommend it. It's a truly amazing sight, as simple as it seems. Rory's breathing was steady and quiet, her chest rising and falling rythmically. Her face was peaceful, smooth and it took on the appearance of an angel. She smelled so sweet and looked so young, like a small child. She murmured in her sleep, too, not surprising me, since she likes to talk so much. I stood in the doorjam for what seemed like hours, just watcing in a kind of awe. Luke had closed up the diner and come upstairs and found me that way. He looked too and smiled, shaking his head. He whispered something like, "You better call Lorelai and tell her what happened. See if she can stay." And Rory did stay that night, sleeping peacefully the whole night. I don't think I got a wink of sleep, no matter how many sheep I counted. But I will never forget the look of her while she sleeps, the image is forever imbedded in my memory.  
  
I had no plans to go to college, no plans to do much with my life, even after I got with Rory. I figured I would float around different cities and I had no problems with it. But Rory knew I could do something more. So she begged me to take the SAT's. She knew I should go to college and was aware that the SAT's would help my entrance. She set out to help me study for them. She went to crazy antics to get me to agree. Finally, I caved. How could I refuse the amazing Rory Gilmore, while she pleaded and begged for me to sign up? So we spent a week studying for them and early Saturday morning I went for the tests. I did incredibly well on the tests and Rory was so sure that it proved that I was smart and that every college would see how lucky they were to have me. Only Rory would think that. 


	5. Visits

Disclaimer first chapter.  
  
Chapter Five Visits  
  
Landon showed up in the diner one day. His father had beaten him severly and that was when Landon decided to make his appearance in Stars Hollow. The diner had already closed and everyone except Luke, Rory, and me were gone. We were listening to the radio and Rory's favorite song came on. I pulled her out of her chair, whirling her into my arms. That's how Landon found me, dancing happily with an angel. I saw him over her shoulder with his black eye and cut cheek, and I instantly stopped moving. It was obvious it was one of the worse beatings. I began to feel guilty for leaving New York. When I had lived above Landon, he had always come up when his dad came home drunk, until the man passed out on the floor. I wondered how many beatings he had suffered since I left. Then I began to wonder if I could have stopped them if I were still in Brooklyn. I managed a hey before I hugged him. The two of us easily avoided the topic of his bruises easily, as if there was nothing unusual. In a way, it wasn't unusual, just a little shocking. But Rory didn't understand. Her life had never been with people whose parents beat their kids before passing out for three days. I was glad for that. I introduced my best friend to my girlfriend. They seemed to hit if off. I think Landon was glad to meet the girl who had saved me from myself. Rory was ecstatic to meet someone from the mysterious past I never spoke about. She asked Landon how he had gotten his black eye and it was like all of our pasts suddenly drowned us. I quietly explained what must have happened, the inevitable, and Landon never once opened his mouth to correct me. We knew, Rory didn't. She was obviously embarrassed. You could tell. She akwardly finished her coffee, then she said she had to leave. She did, leaving Landon, me, and the huge white elephant in the room.  
  
Landon and I didn't address the topic of his home life until two days into the visit. He tried to brush it off, but I wouldn't let him. So he told me that it wasn't my fault. He knew what I was thinking, that I should have been there to stop it. Then he told me how glad he was I had gotten away and knew I would be able to do something then turn into other than my parents, like the rest of them inevitably would. Then he laughingly told me not to forget them in New York. I think he was afraid that I would block them out, trying to get rid of the memories of my childhood. But I wouldn't do that. Not all of it was bad. I remember the severity of our lives, Lady Luck was never kind to us. Landon was my best friend and I would never forget that. He then announced that it was time for him to go home, tomorrow.  
  
Rory and Landon go along surprisingly well. It was like Landon was the key to my past and Rory was the key to my future. They enjoyed swapping bizarre stories about me. Landon told her about some of our good childhood memories and Rory lapped them all up. Landon adored Rory. I think he found Rory's innocent outlook on life refreshing to a cynical New York boy. He enjoyed her offhand remarks and insane antics to get coffee, along her quirky relationship with her mother. Rory found him fascinating in her tiny world. Landon was not as quiet as I was, he talked a lot actually. We walked him to the bus stop. The two embraced and then I hugged him. He told me not so subtley not to screw this up and that Rory was perfect for me. She began to blush profusely. He disappeared onto the crowded bus. It drove away and I had a queer feeling wash over me as I watched him leave.  
  
Rory had talked me into applying to college. Rory and I got our letters the same day. I got accepted into Hartford University and I had already decided to major in writing. Rory, on the otherhand, did not make it into Harvard. Harvard had been her and Lorelai's lifelong dream, but she was denied entrance. She was heartbroken for several weeks. My bubbly, lovable, optimistic girlfriend had disappeared and a sad, depressed, pessimistic one had taken her place. I did everything I could to cheer her up, but nothing would help. She finally got an acceptance letter to Yale. It was closer to Stars Hollow, Lorelai, and everyone she loved. So she snapped out of her funk, happily preparing for her life at Yale.  
  
Luke and Lorelai finally admitted their feelings for one another. It had taken them 14 years to finally get around to it. I talked Luke into getting out of his plaid and baseball cap. He wore a plain colored shirt and bought her roses. He made a huge batch of coffee, because it was obvious the way to a Gilmore's heart was with coffee. He placed the mugs around the diner so that it spelled out I love you. When Lorelai and Rory came in, Lorelai melted. She pulled Luke close and they made out in the middle of the diner. The town was watching and money was being passed along to Sookie for winning the pool. Yep, that's exactly the kind of town it was. They bet the day the two would end up together. 


	6. Tragedy

Disclaimer First chapter.  
  
Chapter Six Tragedy  
  
  
  
I will never forget the day Charity called. No one, but Landon, had called me since I had moved. Her voice was heavy with tears when I answered the phone in the diner. She said, "Jess? It's Charity. Landon was killed last night. He was caught in the crossfire of a drive by shooting." I dropped the phone with a huge crash. I leaned against the bar for support, but I came tumbling down anyways. The diner seemed to be spinning. I began to cry. I was balling like a baby in front of every patron in the diner. Luke was asking me if I was okay and what was wrong. But everything had blacked out. Rory and Lorelai came in, Rory rushed to me. I couldn't stop crying. No one knew what was wrong. Rory held me close, kissing my forehead and cheeks, not having a clue what had upset me. I finally managed to choke out that Landon was dead. Rory began to cry with me, our tears melding together. It was like Rory had taken part of my pain onto her heart and was feeling the exact same things I was feeling. Luke and Lorelai watched us, trying desperately to figure out what was wrong. I couldn't say it again. My best friend was dead. I should have been there. I should have been there to stop him from being out on the streets. Landon wasn't in a gang, how could he be killed by gang members? Why did he die? I vaguely remember Rory picking up the phone and talking to Charity briefly. Under normal circumstances, I'd have been worried, but not that day. Rory got the date of the funeral and told her we would be there. She hung up and went back to coddling me, crooning loving words into my ear.  
  
Luke drove us to New York City for Landon's funeral. I remembered his last words to me. I wonder if Landon knew he was going to die so young. He had his whole life ahead of him, but he had been shot in the head. I think when he came to visit, we knew it would be the last time we would see each other. I never expected him to be dead. I knew I woulnd't see him again as he left on that bus. I had been quiet since I got the news, understandably. Luke gave me the week off officially and I had missed three days of school. I more or less stared at the wall, contemplating our lives, the good times, wondering why Landon had left the world. My life and my problems seemed so trivial now. We arrived at the funeral. Luke stayed in the back, but Rory never left my side. Landon's parents were in the front, his mom looked a little sad, but his dad was drunk. I couldn't believe he couldn't sober up enough for his own son's funeral. I wanted to scream at him, yell at him for everything he had done to Landon. All the beatings he had inflicted upon Landon, all the hurt he had caused my best friend in his short life. But I didn't. Not many people were there. I found Charity, Jarod, Rachel, and Ryan were though. We hugged, showing a rare display of emotion foreign to us. Our own morose childhoods had hardened us to our feelings, especially us guys, but this was too much to hold in our feelings. Rory clutched my hand through the entire service. I was called to give the eulogy, which surprised me. I stood up, tears in my eyes, and my voice was scratchy. "Landon Thomas was my best friend and he always will be. He was like a brother to me. We did everything together, we protected each other, got into trouble together. We partied and hung out all the time. We've known each other since we were about two. He was the greatest guy. He was tough, smart, talkative, crazy, fun. He wanted everyone to reach their full potential in their lives. He believed in me, like every best friend does. We had unflailing trust in each other. He recently visited me in Stars Hollow and he and my girlfriend laughed a lot together. Landon was good at making people laugh. He liked to hear people laugh; he didn't get the chance to laugh much. He had this great way of spinning things into beautiful stories. I can't believe he's gone. I'm going to miss him so much. I know we all will." I sat back down because I couldn't bear to be up there anymore. The service ended. The six of us were now a group of five, and it seemed really empty. We went to his gravesite and I watched Landon's casket being put into the ground. They shoveled dirt on the coffin and the whole thing seemed so understated to be so final. We left then and headed home to Stars Hollow in silence. Luke tried his best to lighten things up, but I wasn't in the mood. Rory held me the whole way home and I actually fell asleep in her arms. I was exhausted because I hadn't slept since I found out Landon had died. I missed him terribly and I still do. I visit his grave at least twice a year and I still talk to him. I feel like he's watching me sometimes. 


	7. Graduation

Disclaimer fist chapter.  
  
Chapter Seven Graduation  
  
  
  
Since Luke and Lorelai were together, Lorelai decided that he should attend one of the weekly dinners held at her parent's house. The elder Gilmores were paying for Rory's very expensive Chilton education and the deal was they ate dinner with the Gilmores every Friday night. So Lorelai, with a perserverence I had never seen possible, begged Luke to come. After so many days, Luke gave up and accepted the invitation, which I found amusing, until Rory decided I should go too. We all dressed up and at 7:03 that night we were standing in front of the huge mansion, late. Luke had already met them and Mrs. Gilmore didn't seem shocked to see them together. I, on the otherhand, had never met them and all they knew about me was that I was the boy who had fractured Rory's wrist. Lorelai was immediately scolded for allowing Rory to still see me and let's just say I had absolutely the warmest welcome I had ever recieved. Mr. Gilmore asked me endless amounts of personal questions and you could just see he hated me. Rory kept trying to stop Mr. Gilmore, but he wouldn't give up. I answered each question shortly. I sat through dinner under heavy scrutiny and angry, disapproving glares from all sides. Lorelai was fairly funny, though. She and Mrs. Gilmore did not get along very well, but the Gilmores were very doting grandparents. They were so incredibly proud of Rory. The dinner finally ended, Luke and I were let out of our torture chamber to freedom. The four of us returned to the diner, Rory and Lorelai for yet another dessert. Lorelai explained how truly fun her parents were and now we had finally seen for ourselves why she complained so much. Rory sat quietly, seeming quite retrospective. I soon found out why.  
  
Liz came a couple days before my graduation. Both Luke and I were shocked to see her. Lorelai and Rory had never met my shining example of a woman called Liz. Liz came into the diner, smoking a cigarette. In a way, she reminded me of myself when I first came to Stars Hollow. Except I was corrupted by the life that was thrust upon me and ran away to Stars Hollow for solace. Liz ran away from quirky Stars Hollow and corrupted herself with the life she chose in New York. Luke set up the ever popular air mattress for her and Liz crashed before I could say two words to her. Luke admitted that he had called her and invited her to my graduation, but she had said she couldn't make it.  
  
Lorelai and Rory didn't get to meet Liz until the next morning. Liz obviously did not like them. Lorelai Gilmore was too perky and Rory Gilmore was too perfect. Luke was kind of uncomfortable having Liz living with us and I still didn't matter to Liz. I would never amount to anything in her eyes. I refused to let her ruin my graduation. I was going to college in a few months. I wish Landon could come to my graduation. But he couldn't. He was dead. Rory sat front row with Luke and Lorelai. Liz sat farther back. The ceremony was long and boring, as most graduation ceremonies are. I recieved my diploma and I could hear Rory cheering loudly when my name was called. The ceremony ended after a tedious speech given by Principal Mertin. I was finally out of high school and in a way I felt the freest I had ever felt. I had graduated, I had Rory, I had more or less everything I had ever wanted. I never thought it possible. But I couldn't stop myself from feeling terribly guilty. Landon should have graduated high school, found himself a girl, gotten a job, and proved that he could do better this his deadbeat parents. But he couldn't. Instead, he was in a huge hole in the ground, cold and alone. Why did I get out of New York? Why me, not Landon? Why did Landon die and not me? I felt anger course through my body. How could someone let this happen? Why? Rory could sense that I wasn't as happy as I should have been. She had been very understanding about the whole thing, but there are somethings I could never share with her. So I plastered a fake smile on my face and accepted the congratulations bestowed upon me from my Uncle Luke, Lorelai, and Rory. Liz didn't seem too proud. She hugged me a little and said she was going back to Brooklyn the next afternoon. I nodded, not surprised she wanted to split so soon. I knew she hated me and I was her huge reminder of Rob. I even looked like him, so everytime she saw me, she saw him. I actually felt sorry for her. She will never know the love that I know now. Back to graduation, we went out to eat to celebrate. They gave me gifts, but Rory's was by far the most special. It was a picture of us on the bridge, kissing. On the back was a personal poem she wrote for me. It was amazing. At that very moment, my life seemed so very different than it was two years ago. I was glad.  
  
Liz left the next day as quickly as possible. She told me a hasty good bye, Luke as well. She high tailed it to the bus stop. Of course, I was hurt again. Luke could tell. He gruffly hugged me before returning to work. I just kind of stared into space.  
  
Rory graduated salutitorian of Chilton Preperatory Academy. Paris Gellar, her friend and rival, beat her out for valedictorian by .01 of a point. Rory didn't mind. Paris was kind of scary, and I think if Rory would have beaten her, she would have strangled Rory. I attended Rory's graduation, as did the rest of Stars Hollow. Even grumpy Michel Gerard attended. Christopher, Sherri, and their new baby Sydney came. Rory was the town's shining star, everyone adored her and her life. She is a very special person who has touched so many people's lives. She doesn't even realize it. Rory's oblivious that way. 


	8. Happily Ever After

Disclaimer first chapter. AN: Thank you soooo much for reading my story. I'm glad everyone enjoyed it. Thanks for reviewing my story, also. It sure gives incentive to post:)  
  
Chapter Eight Happily Ever After  
  
  
  
That summer I decided to make the biggest change of my life. I laid candles all along the bridge and I picked up the basket from the Bid-A- Basket fundraiser that I had bought from Rory. I packed coffee, brownies, burgers, fries and most importantly a diamond studded ring. I made everything as perfect as I could make it for her. I had to get the last item that would make this picnic perfect. Rory. I brought her down to the bridge and Rory began to grin. We ate our dinner in the moonlight. I finally looked at her. "Rory, I love you so much. You make my life seem worthwhile. I need you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?" Rory's smile grew larger and her eyes were brighter. "Yes! Of course I will!" So we were engaged. We spread the news around, telling Miss Patty the gossip queen shortly after informing Luke and Lorelai. Most accepted the news happily.  
  
We did have to leave for college soon. I lived on campus in Hartford. Rory was 200 miles away at Yale. It was a long way from each other, but we knew we could survive this. I kissed her sweetly at the going away party and she drove away, but not out of my life. I moved into my own dorm. I enjoyed living on my own immensely. Rory and I called each every day and e-mailed each other more. Rory loved college. The classes were more intense and she had already made tons of friends. I stayed a loner, of my own account, and started this very book. Rory and I decided to plan the wedding, which would take place four years later, after we both graduated college. I did miss seeing her every day. I missed her a lot.  
  
I visited Stars Hollow a lot. It was my home, whether I liked it or not. Rory came home every holiday and summer. We spent every minute possible together, although Lorelai stole Rory quite often. Luke and Lorelai had become engaged while we were gone, too. Luke seemed very happy, which was good. I never talked to Charity and the others again, but I never forgot them, nor did I forget Landon. I promised I wouldn't and I always keep my promises.  
  
I visited Landon to tell him about my engagement to Rory. I more or less carried a 15 minute monologue with a slab of stone. I needed to tell him though. I told him all about college and my life now. I knew he would be proud of me and glad to know Rory and I were going to be married. If only he were still alive. But he wasn't. I told him good bye and headed home.  
  
As I sit here, adding the finishing touches to my book, the town of Stars Hollow is still the same, even after the four years that I've lived here. Taylor is talking excitedly about how happy he and the Stars Hollow Bureau of Tourism is this book is going to be published and how many more guests will be coming to town. Luke and Lorelai are bantering about coffee and stealing kisses. Kirk is pouring eight sweet'n'lows into his coffee. Miss Patty and her dance class is coming into the diner. Lane and her new boyfriend are at a table, talking about weird unknown bands. Babette and Morey are telling Andrew and Bootsy about their new cat. Michel is scowling in the corner and complaining about the service. Sookie and Jackson are talking about the new baby they're about to have. Grant, the town troubador, is singing a ballad about love. I look around and I realize something. I have a family now. It may be eccentric, it may be huge, but it's a great family to be a part of. I've found everything that I've been looking for. Love and family. Now Rory is nonchalantly looking over my shoulder, sipping coffee, trying to sneak a peek at the book. As if she won't be the first one to read it, besides my editor. She just kissed me softly. I just want to use the end of my first book to tell her how much I love her and how much she changed my life for the better. So, as sad as my life always seemed, I have come to these conclusions. Fairy tales are true and there is always a chance at a happy ending. 


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